My first post...................

Ok, I am doing it. I am starting a blog. I always have ideas running around in my brain and except for being pretty sure I am secretly being taped for a Japanese sitcom, I think that my 23+ years of experience raising kids has given me a few good things to say along the way.

Ever since I was 4 years old, I could not wait to be a mommy.  Growing up, when people asked what I wanted to be someday, a mom was always my answer. My husband, Ed (or Lovemuffin as I call him), and I started our family young. We were married when I was 20 and our oldest, Matt, arrived when I was 22.  I loved every minute of mommy-hood and I would have had 6 children if Ed (he is the realist) and our finances hadn't been a factor.  Now that I am worn out and weary from helping to lift off 3 adult chicks from our nest - I am thankful that we only had 3. But in my 20's, I would have loved to have given the Duggar's a run for their money.

Now, our youngest is 17 and about to be a senior in high school. The "mommy" days are over. Yes, I know I am still needed and loved (blah blah blah).  But I am no longer anyone's everything.  Don't get me wrong, my husband is the best and we love each other dearly, but I really hope he doesn't start to need me to cut his dinner up, hold his hand to cross the street, etc.  Any hand holding should be out of romance and companionship - not for his safety!  My affection for him has always been so different than what I had with the kids. I will admit it - I desperately miss being needed desperately.

All 3 of our kids are extremely independent.  Our daughter, Emily, is 21 and was married on May 20, 2016.  Yes, less than 2 weeks ago!  The wedding was amazing and I definitely plan to blog on that.  But, our little princess now has a family of our own.  And that one that made us parents at 23? Well, he has his own apartment, car and even a puppy of his own.  And everyone knows how the life of a Senior is, between girls, sports, work, church and school, there isn't much time left for mama. I know that I am loved and even surprisingly, liked.  But this view of motherhood is very different. I would not change it, I am thrilled that I have healthy children with thriving lives - I am just adjusting to the view.

Since this might take a little while for me to process, what better way for me to do so than to share all of my innermost thoughts, fears, joys, criticisms, laughs, etc., with people I have never met!  My hope is that my posts bring insight, humor, encouragement and maybe help me gain some kindred spirits - no matter what side of the "hood" you might be on.

Always sincerely,

Shannan